"If you think you can or you think you can't, you're probably right." - Henry Ford
I am
now a marathoner. The marathon seemed like one of those goals I always
had in the back of my mind but never would accomplish. A few days before
the race I seriously thought about chickening out and "just" doing
the half. The half in itself is a lot of training, work, and dedication.
I could not imagine running double that distance. I was so nervous,
I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, my thoughts just keep coming back to:
What if I can't finish? What if I hit the wall? Then what?
I was awaiting the dreaded wall? I was questioning myself, and my
training. The most I had run before the marathon was between 17 and 18
miles, was that going to be enough.
I started talking to
my friends for reassurance. I told Mandy that I was super nervous and
that I didn't think my training run of 16 miles was long enough. I said,
"I have never even run 20?" Her response, "So, what you'll
run 20 tomorrow." Yes, I guess I will. Lysa told me to go through
the motions. Eat a candy bar the night before and go through the motions.
These were her comments, "You totally have it Jamie! You're killing
all your halfs! You know you'd regret it big time if you backed out now. You
can't think about it. Just get up and go run and go through the motions. I
remember having to just get up and walk out the door bc If I gave it any
thought, I would have talked myself out of it that day. It's hard at the end of
training bc you're getting really burned out. Idk. I don't really have advice,
other than I know you'd really regret not doing it. You'd kick yourself and
then have to register for something else and do it all over again."
I talked to my cousin.
He told me to Hydrate, take the first portion of the marathon slow, and that he
would meet me at mile 17. My sister in law showed me some mental tricks and
really helped me know that I could do this. She talked me back into doing
it and told me she'd see me at the finish. My friend Julie, who was doing the half,
believed in me. She told me she I would finish and has been such a strong
supporter all the way through. Joe told me, "Just do it, I don't want to
hear about it when you are mad you didn't." Being a very stubborn person I
knew he was right. There were a few people who were pretty negative me about
finishing. They put thoughts of injury and disbelief into my head. I took their
negativity and it really propelled me to prove them wrong.
I was able to sleep
really well on Thursday night, Friday night was a different story. I had
nightmares all night. About everything. First it rained the whole time. Then I
missed the bus. Then I forgot to wear pants (no joke). Then I didn't have a
pony tail holder. Thankfully none of those nightmares came true - especially the one about not wearing pants.
Friday morning I went
and volunteered at the running expo. It was a blast! It was super exciting to
meet so many different runners from all over the country. I met people nervous
just like me: first-time marathoners. I met people who had done 85 plus
marathons. I handed the race packet to the OVERALL, winner Danya. I met people
from Florida, Texas, and Australia. It was a blast. The race directors were so
kind, insightful, and organized. This race was going to be great I just knew
it.
Saturday morning came
quickly. I woke up at 3 a.m. I then pumped. (Yes, I'm still breastfeeding). Why
I choose to run a marathon and still try to nurse is beyond me. I won't
recommend it but, I got through it and it was fine. I then laid on the coach
wondering what I was about to do. My friend Julie came and picked me up and
drove me to the bus pickup for the marathon. I said goodbye to her, wished her luck in the half, and hopped
on the bus. Why am I doing the full I thought? Then my positive mental energy kicked in.
I get really carsick,
and riding 30 plus miles in a bus up a canyon is not the most fun way for me to
begin a morning. I took a seat in the
front of the bus where I could look out the front window. An older gentleman sat next to me. He was from New Mexico. He was great to talk to. He talked about how he was in Boston last
year, his hopes of returning this year and his training. I asked him for his best advice. He told me, “Take one mile at a time. You’ll have good miles and bad miles but, run
the mile you are in.” I can’t tell you
how much this helped me. I only thought about the mile I was in. Not what was ahead or behind me. My cousin told me to text him a picture of what I was wearing, hence this lovely. (He text back "Run Little Red Riding Hood)"
We got to the top and
it was a bit chilly, and foggy (as the picture shows). I had set good, great, and awesome goals. A good goal is something you can accomplish no matter what. A great goal is something that you can accomplish if you have a "great" race, and a an awesome goal is one that all the planets align and everything worked out. I also had a running mantra: "fast as a fox calm as an ox." These two mental tricks really helped me.
Good: First 17 miles slow save the juice
Great: Under 5 1/2 hours
Awesome: Under 5 hours
These goals kept me focus.
We still had over an hour until the race started. I learned after my half-marathons to always bring a fleece blanket. I packed well and wrapped myself up and sad down on the side of the road. I always make friends easily at races. I found a girl who was from Las Vegas. She had 3:30 written on her hand. I asked her if she was trying to qualify for Boston and she said yes. We talked about talked and talked until the start of the race. She wished me luck, and headed to the front. (I looked up her time after the race and she finished at 3:33 :( breaks my heart ). A bus had high centered getting up Guardsmen pass and the start time was pushed back. Great I have to sit her and worry more. I literally felt sick to my stomach.
Good: First 17 miles slow save the juice
Great: Under 5 1/2 hours
Awesome: Under 5 hours
These goals kept me focus.
We still had over an hour until the race started. I learned after my half-marathons to always bring a fleece blanket. I packed well and wrapped myself up and sad down on the side of the road. I always make friends easily at races. I found a girl who was from Las Vegas. She had 3:30 written on her hand. I asked her if she was trying to qualify for Boston and she said yes. We talked about talked and talked until the start of the race. She wished me luck, and headed to the front. (I looked up her time after the race and she finished at 3:33 :( breaks my heart ). A bus had high centered getting up Guardsmen pass and the start time was pushed back. Great I have to sit her and worry more. I literally felt sick to my stomach.
Without putting too much thought into it we began the race.
I listened to my favorite speaker.
My goal after all was not to go too fast down the canyon. I heard some talks I had never heard before,
two of which he referenced running in. I
was, calm, motivated, and keeping a steady pace. The best thing about starting at the back of
the pack is that you always pass people and start to feel pretty cool.
I saw the 4:30 pacer
ahead of me. I always kept her in my
sight, but in reality I was going for a great time of under 5 ½ hours and an awesome
time of 5 hours so I was not terribly worried when they were not in my view.
The first six miles
were not just good they were great. I enjoyed the view of the
canyon and stayed warm. Mile 8 rocked my
world. The porta potties were calling
and my hip was doing something weird I had never felt before. I visited the bathroom and then stretched my
hip out. I was just trying not to think
about it.
There are definitely some
interesting runners out there. For
instance a girl who I will refer to as “pink tank top girl.” Pink tank top girl had never
run a marathon. This was evident and I
think she made it her goal to make sure I did not pass her in the canyon. She would literally sprint with all her might
for probably 400 feet. Then walk. Then
when she saw me coming upon her she’d sprint.
Let’s just say at mile 11 her strategy did not work so well and I never
saw her again. There was also a guy
dressed in sponge bob boxers and a shirt.
Believe me, I was not going to get beat by a guy dressed in a sponge bob
outfit. At mile 14 I made sure he was no
where near me. The mile markers started
passing quickly. Mile 13, I text my
cousin “13 and feeling lean.” At this
point my friend, who killed the half text me: “Run, Jamie, Run.” I needed that. Mile 15, I text, “Mile 15
feeling mean.” At this point my hip was
really hurting (maybe all the downhill?) and I was not the happiest of campers,
but I pushed on. I realized that I only
had 2 more miles until I met up with my cousin. “16.” I managed to text
him. I had a steady pace going and my
legs did not feel like I had just run 17 miles.
I did not have a Garmin or a watch, and because of a bus high centering
I had no idea what time we actually started.
I run better without knowing.