Hitting a wall

 "Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever."
                                 - Lance Armstrong


Today I hit a wall.  A mental wall of sorts.  I doubted my ability to finish the marathon I signed up for this April.  Yes this April!  On my Birthday to be exact.  I had this fantastic idea.  Run 26 miles on my 26th Birthday. (Laughing). Oh and did I mention its in 60 days!

I WAS excited.  I was all pumped up to do it.  Then something happened I ran a half marathon in Maui, sounds "fun" right (close to the ocean, 80 degree weather, shorts and a tank top)?  Nope.  The ocean no where in sight hardest half I've ever seen (hill after hill after hill) and shorts that (if you are a runner you'll know what this means) rubbed me the wrong way. It was not very fun.  But I finished.  I did it I ran 13 miles of hills and I didn't pass out. 

Well, I haven't laced up my shoes since so its only been 3 days but it feels like its been weeks.  I somehow let this doubting thing get to me.  This weekend I'm suppose to do 17 miles (I don't even know if the Bachelor can keep me entertained for that long).  With all these new things I've taken on running has seemed to be pushed to the side or out the window.  But I'm totally not okay with it. (I know, I know its been three days.)

Its at times like this I remember why I set a goal like this in the first place.  Its totally selfish but I'm doing it for me.  To prove to myself I can do it.  I know I can, I just have to convince all parts of my body that I can.  There have been other things I regret I let pass me by (don't we all).

I'm determined that this won't be one of them.  I won't be the fastest or the slowest.  I may walk during the water stations.  But I'll finish those 26 miles even if its for nothing else besides the fact that I can say, "I did it."